Thursday, June 12, 2008

why couldn't we have a sloth invasion instead?

which of the following is true? Squirrels are:

a) very cute

b) clever in their own way, in spite of
having a brain the size of a large peanut

c) a highly evolved and wily species,
secretly in league with forces of evil to
bring about the downfall of mankind

d) less adorable and more bothersome than
sloths.

right, it's a trick question, they're all true! this spring we've been plagued with squirrels. they are very cute from far away, like when you're walking in the woods and you watch their tree-top frolicking from the forest floor and feel a deep sense of inner peace and gentle amusement.

it is somewhat ominous, though, when you look out the bathroom window each morning and see squirrels congregating in the beds of new plants and seedlings, and it's downright aggravating to find that each almost-blossom of a new plant has been carefully removed from the stem and torn into teeny tiny shreds by teeny tiny paws and then scattered about the garden.

now, i like to think that i'm sympathetic to most creatures. squirrels, sloths, gigantic ants, telemarketers, komodo dragons, hey, we're all just trying to live, right? but, just like the less wily-clever-and-cute telemarketer, squirrels have to be taught what our boundaries are, so that we can all live together in peace and so that the pellet-gun discussion never has to be resumed.

so, i've decided to chronicle our efforts in getting the squirrels to see our side of things and just behave reasonably. here's what's happened so far:


  • wire mesh, also known as hardware cloth: this has been wrapped around a couple of potted plants and kept them safe, but the wire is more functional than pretty.

  • cayenne pepper: apparently squirrels don't like it. fun to apply (a tiny bit on a spoon and a huff of breath to distribute it) but i think you have to keep applying it, and you'll probably end up sneezing a lot during the application process.

  • blood meal: tiny granules that apparently stink of death. this is the last thing we've tried. i haven't seen many squirrels today, and those i have seen were just passing through. i can't tell if the stuff is working or if we just don't have that many yummy-smelling tender shoots left.



1 comment:

geez said...

Amusingly, I just remarked upon the existence of "Blood Meal" the other day at the local lousy hardware, where according to the owners, it's 'ok' to buy just about anything for any purpose; i.e. white paint instead of primer, transition duct instead of full ducting, etc. I wonder what types of uses Blood Meal would be 'ok' for.